


Because of You (I’m Better)

by ReinadeAlegria



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Members are mentioned, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard, Unbeta'ed, bobby washes junhoes hair, soft boys tbh, yes that is an actual tag for this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-14 22:16:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14145762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReinadeAlegria/pseuds/ReinadeAlegria
Summary: Junhoe’s stressed. Bobby has an idea. (Alternatively: I suck at summaries)





	Because of You (I’m Better)

**Author's Note:**

> (i wrote this while listening to bathwater by no doubt, but the title’s from day6’s better better. two completely different genres lol, hope you guys like it)
> 
> set before junhoe goes on The King of Mask Singer

 

*

He’s not nervous. Its not like he’s never been on stage before, never sang in front of people, never had his face plastered on a television screen.

Sure, maybe the only difference is he’s never done it alone, but he’s not nervous. He’s always had the other members by his side, at arm’s length to fall back on if it gets to be too much in front all those people on stage. Its a weight on his shoulders he’s never had before because he’s never been alone.

  

Maybe he is nervous.

 

He’s sitting on the couch in the living room, the t.v turned on with the volume on mute. Its a random channel with some random drama that he’s never seen before, but it doesn’t matter because he’s not paying attention. He’s checking his phone every two minutes, the clock on his screen showing its close to midnight. He knows he should be sleeping, should be getting all the rest he can get before he goes to record the show tomorrow—

 

_Alone._

 

Junhoe sighs, throwing his head back against the couch. This isn’t like him; isn’t like him to overthink about being on stage where he’s the most himself, comfortable with a microphone in his hand and his mind focused on the songs he’s singing. The room has gone dark, the t.v’s automatic light-saving setting reminding Junhoe how long he’s been sitting in front of the glowing screen without paying much attention to it. He thinks about getting up and finally going to bed before picking up the remote from where he’d thrown it on the couch cushion, pointing it to the t.v to turn it back on.

He jumps when he hears the creaking of wood, turning back to find one of his sleepy members shuffling out of their room while rubbing at their face.

“Bobby.” 

“What are you doing up?”

“You scared me.”

“What are you doing up, Junhoe?”

He thinks about what to say, not wanting to bring unnecessary attention to his overthinking of a silly problem or for Bobby to become overly concerned over something stupid, so he swallows the lump in his throat and shrugs, “T.v.”

Bobby looks over to the only source of light in the room before turning back to Junhoe. He stares at him for a moment before giving a small hum, walking over towards the kitchen. Junhoe lets out a quiet sigh as he turns back to t.v, hesitating before getting up from the couch to follow the older boy.

“Why are you up?” He asks, watching as Bobby looks through the cabinets above the stove.

“Hungry,” He mumbles.

“Right now?”

“Like you’ve never done this before,” Bobby turns to him with a knowing look before moving to the refrigerator, “I know you’re the reason my leftovers disappear all the time. 

Junhoe bites the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling, “Those were yours?”

Bobby closes the door, leaning against it. He gives Junhoe a once-over before looking at the clock on the microwave.

 

_Try, I want to try harder._

 

“Shouldn’t you be asleep? Since you have a busy schedule tomorrow?”

He feels another lump form in his throat as he tries hard not to make a face that will give him away. Of course, it doesn’t work, Bobby knowing that Junhoe’s lack of expression is the easiest way to tell he’s worried about something.

“What?”

“What?” Junhoe retorts.

“What do you mean _what_?”

“What do _you_ mean what?”

Bobby rolls his eyes, watching as Junhoe crosses his arms before looking up at the cabinets above Bobby’s head.

“Is this about tomorrow?" 

He waits for an answer, even though he knows it won’t come, so he tries again. 

“It’s because you’ll be on your own, isn’t it?”

Junhoe shrugs, still not looking at him, “So? It’s not a big deal.”

“Junhoe—“

 

“I’ll get over it.”

They go quiet for a moment, neither of them knowing what else to say before Bobby reaches out to tug at Junhoe’s sleeve. He starts walking out of the kitchen, mumbling a small “come on”, turning back to Junhoe when he realizes that he’s not following him.

“Come on.”

“Where?”

Bobby doesn’t answer, instead motioning at him to follow. Junhoe stays put, and for a moment he thinks that maybe what he’s trying to do for the younger boy isn’t a good idea, but then Junhoe pushes off the counter and shuffles behind him. They walk through the dorm as quietly as they can, Bobby leading Junhoe towards the bathroom. He stops a couple paces behind the older boy, hesitating when Bobby moves out of the doorway and points to the inside of the bathroom.

“In.”

“For what?”

“Junhoe,” Bobby sighs, “please?”

“No. _Why_?”

Bobby closes his eyes, trying hard not to get frustrated with Junhoe, and lets out another sigh.

 

_Try. Keep trying._

 

“Trust me? Just for five minutes.”

_No_ , Junhoe’s thought is automatic, every thought following it telling him to say no and just retreat to his room. Then he remembers the conversation he and Hanbin had after the Vlive they had done while Bobby had been promoting his album. 

 

“ _We try our best to care about each other.”_

 

Junhoe lets his arms drop to his sides, nodding to Bobby, taking his place by the doorframe as he watches him walk towards the shower. 

“Sit,” Bobby points down to the floor near the tub. 

Junhoe immediately shakes his head, looking at Bobby like he’s grown another head. Bobby grabs his arm, and guides him closer to the tub, still pointing down at the floor. 

“ _Sit._ ”

He hears the other boy huff, but he does as he’s told, sitting with his back against the edge of the tub.  

“What are we doing?”

Bobby ignores him, walking out of the bathroom for a moment, before returning a moment later with two hand towels. He folds one and leaves it on the edge of the sink and takes the other with him, draping it over Junhoe’s shoulders. He watches as Bobby grabs the shampoo bottle, placing it in the tub behind Junhoe then reaching over to turn the water on, grabbing the shower head from its hook before sitting himself on the edge of the tub.

“Lean back." 

Junhoe doesn’t fight him, doing as he’s told, shivering slightly when he feels the warm water soak his hair.

“Cold?”

“A little too warm actually.”

Bobby nods, carefully moving the shower handle to change the water temperature, feeling it with his hand before trying again.

“Better?”

Junhoe nods.

They sit quietly as Bobby runs his hand through Junhoe’s hair, making sure there weren’t any more dry spots before lowering the pressure on the shower head and grabbing the shampoo bottle to squeeze out some of the soap into his hand. Junhoe waits until Bobby has started to softly massage the shampoo into his hair before he asks,

“Why are you doing this?”

Bobby pauses for a second before continuing the relaxing movements.

“When we lived in the states, whenever I was stressed or upset about something, my mom would take me into the bathroom and wash my hair.”

Junhoe, although confused, doesn’t really expect Bobby to think he’d accept just that for an answer, so he focuses on the soothing feeling of Bobby’s fingers in his hair, waiting for him to continue. After a few minutes of silence, he speaks again. 

“It was relaxing, almost like she was washing away my worries. It was her way of telling me,” Bobby says slowly, “that—that it was okay for me to feel whatever I was feeling, and that I was never alone.”

Bobby continues to run his fingers through Junhoe’s soapy hair, slowing his movements down as he continues his explanation, lowering his voice, “But when I left home, I didn’t have anyone to—“

“You were alone,” Junhoe whispers.

Bobby nods, “Until I told Hanbin about it. 

“A couple weeks after I told him, he offered to do it one night. It was his way of promising that we’d be okay. That I wasn’t alone anymore.” 

He reaches over to grab the shower head, rinsing his hands before beginning to rinse out Junhoe’s hair. 

“I know the thought of being on stage by yourself is scary. Its this intense feeling, a kind of heavy weight you don’t feel if all you’ve ever done is share the attention of hundreds of people watching you.”

Junhoe bites the inside of his cheek.

“But after the initial,” Bobby quiets down, trying to find the right words, “ _dramatic_ heart drop, you remember what put you on that stage in the first place.”

He stops rinsing Junhoe’s hair to look him straight in the eyes, and Junhoe’s pretty sure he hasn’t seen Bobby this serious in years.

“You’re right, you _will_ get over it.”

“You make it sound so easy.”

Bobby smiles, “It _is_ easy. The only reason I was able to do it was because the entire time I was promoting by myself, I thought of you guys.”

He finishes rinsing Junhoe’s hair, turning the water off and standing from his place on the tub, moving over to the sink to grab the other towel. He sits on the toilet seat, motioning for Junhoe to sit in between his legs. 

Bobby throws the other towel over Junhoe’s head, letting it cover his eyes, knowing that what he’d say next would be difficult and embarrassing for Junhoe to admit.

 

“It’s okay to be scared or nervous Junhoe. And its okay to be vulnerable or insecure, especially with things you’ve never done before,” Bobby grabs at the ends of the towel, “But I don’t want you to feel alone.”

 

Junhoe stares at the tile in front of him as Bobby begins to gently rub the towel against his hair. This whole exchange wasn’t weird or random like Junhoe thought. Instead, he feels warm and lighter than he was before the older boy had washed his hair because Bobby wanted to _validate_ his feelings. He wanted to give Junhoe someone to lean on, just like Hanbin had done to him when he’d moved from the states or like his mom had done to wash his worries away.

 

“I don’t want to mess up,” He says quietly, and he knows he’s caught Bobby off guard, the movements against his hair stopping completely.

 “I’m really scared that I’ll let you guys down. I don’t want to let you down.”

 

He whispers the last part as he pulls the towel off his head, slipping it out of Bobby’s hands. For a moment he thinks he’s said too much, but then he feels a hand on his shoulder and he lets out a sigh, leaning against on one Bobby’s legs.

“You can’t let us down Junhoe. We’re already _so_ proud of you.”

Bobby squeezes his shoulder, and Junhoe smiles, suddenly tired. 

“Let’s get you to bed,” Bobby whispers, standing up and reaching out to offer a hand, “you’ve got an exciting day tomorrow.”

 

*

(Junhoe walks into the dorm the next day, a rush of pride filling him as he’s forced into a hug by Jinhwan and a beaming Donghyuk, congratulations for passing the first round being thrown his way.

 

He waits until its late at night again, before sneaking into Bobby’s room. He finds the older boy at his desk, headphones in, clearly working. He feels Junhoe’s presence, turning in his chair, pulling out a headphone. They stare at each other for a moment before Bobby smiles softly at him, which Junhoe returns along with a little nod.

 

“Goodnight Bobby.”

“I’m proud of you, Junhoe.”)

*

**Author's Note:**

> pls excuse any mistakes, i wrote this really late at night and i needed something to fulfill my junbob needs
> 
> xx


End file.
